Anger arrived in my life again last week. It came in the form of some wise words from people who understand how to use anger for positive effect. In response to my previous post that mentioned my dislike for the angry energy of activists, several people contributed some comments on the theme of anger:

These comments cut to the heart of anger. They also tap something raw and important. Over the last year I’ve often noticed people becoming very animated when the topic of anger and (peaceful) social change comes up. The strong response of people suggests that there is a lot of energy around this topic. I also notice myself wanting to understand anger more fully, so here’s where I’m at…

To start with, I always find it useful to make a distinction between how people react to something (i.e. how we feel internally) and how people respond (i.e. how we reply to that feeling, in ourself and in our actions). Responses can be conscious (when we are aware of what is happening and when we choose how we act) or unconscious (when our responses are triggered automatically).

I also distinguish between:

• feeling anger: the energy that we feel in reaction to something harmful that we experience, such as an injustice or a threat.
• being angry: holding on to this energy until we act on it, let go of it, or transform it into something else. This “holding on” is highly visible in the clenching of the fists.

I suspect that many people make a similar distinction between the “feeling” and the “holding” through slightly different words.

Feeling anger is a healthy and important part of being human. It’s like an immune response to many injustices in this world. Being angry, on the other (clenched) hand, is often harmful – particularly if it is directed at someone else in the form of hate. Being angry can also be self-destructive. As good-ol Buddha perfectly put it, “Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one who gets burned.”

Feelings are also contagious. When someone is very angry, the people around that person are likely to feel their anger too. They may even experience it as their own anger. Thus, when I see ‘activists’ being angry, I notice other people getting angry too (or flustered or annoyed). These people may project that anger back on to the activists or their cause. That’s why I think that ‘being angry’ is often counter-productive. It doesn’t encourage people to open up and connect more fully with one another.

Based on the conversations I’ve had with people about anger, two questions have emerged:

The comments above also reflect this – anger is powerful and important, but it needs to be expressed well (rather than contained). The best way that I know how to do this is through self-observation and awareness (which is greatly assisted by practices like yoga and meditation). When I am aware of how I am reacting, I have more ability to choose how I respond. When I feel anger emerging, I can direct my response.

I personally find it very easy to avoid reacting to anger, or to cease reacting very quickly. I do get pissed off about many injustices and the needless destruction of our world, but I often let go of this anger because I’m more interested in embracing the positive path of solutions. I’m increasingly curious about the art of peaceful anger though – the process of being completely open to anger, feeling its full force, and transforming all of this energy into peaceful action or loving kindness. A master of this art could even be strengthened by this process. I’m interested in how much energy a person or group of people could muster in this way. People like Martin Luther King and Ghandi strike me as masters of this art. For the early practitioner, it may simply involve feeling anger without hatred, or trembling without rage.

I also continue to find wisdom in the words of friends. Here’s some more words from a couple of them from a conversation last year:

“The injustice of climate change makes me angry, which motivates me to act because I know that acting positively is how I keep the energy and power of anger moving through me and not getting stuck in me. But I also know that hope motivates me to act, a sense of common purpose motivates me to act, the joy of doing things well motivates me to act and yes – love motivates me to act...Actually – I often think it is love that makes me angry. When I was in Afghanistan I would be overwhelmed by the waves of love I would feel for the people in the town where I lived, a love that made it very, very hard to leave and that they obviously saw in me since my nickname in the town was “delsous” the soft-hearted one. But that love made me very angry about the terrible global injustices that cause those beautiful, flawed, ordinary people to suffer. If I didn’t love them I don’t know if I would have felt the anger. But I had to learn to handle anger – it’s a potentially harmful emotion if you handle it poorly.” (Marianne, who has also blogged about anger)